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1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”

11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.

15. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”

16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

17. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

18. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

19. During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

20. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim’s Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

21. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.”. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

22. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

23. Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.

24. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.

25. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

26. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.

27. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

28. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn’t have any children.

29. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is In the East and the sun sets in the West.

30. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

31. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of river to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

32. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

33. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

Fengið af síðunni: http://listverse.com/humor/33-funny-exam-answers/

Þá er hún Helga mætt í sveitina. Hún lenti í Billund á mánudeginum og við voffarnir fórum að sækja hana. Við kíktum við í vinnunni minni á leiðinni heim þannig að hún gæti séð aðeins hvar ég er að vinna, svo fórum við í búð og svo loksins heim.

Helga kom sko færandi hendi með HELLING af íslenskum mat og nammi, slátri, sviðasultu, harðfisk, bjúgum, lakkrís, súkkulaði og ég veit ekki hvað!! Við höfðum bara aldrei séð annað eins og urðum alveg svakalega ánægðar með þetta :-)

Fyrsta máltíðin hjá henni Helgu greyinu, þegar hún loksins var komin til Danmerkur voru svo íslenskar SS pulsur hehehe. Ég bara gat ekki beðið þannig að þær kellurnar fengu að njóa þessa með mín ;-)

Þriðjudaginn tókum við bara rólega, spjölluðum saman um daginn og veginn og horfðum á sjónvarpið og DVD myndir - þvílíkt næs!!!

Í gær var svo sofið hressilega frameftir, alltaf þegar ein okkar vaknaði þá voru hinar nýsofnaðar þannig að þá fór viðkomandi bara aftur að sofa og svona gekk þetta alveg fram að hádegi! En þetta var nú samt alveg ágætt hehe. Svo vorum við í einhverjum vafa um hver dagskráin ætti að vera en á endanum var ákveðið að halda í Legoland. Og þangað keyrðum við af stað um hálf tvö - vorum komnar í Legoland um hálf fjögur, sem var alveg ágætt því þá voru öll öskrandi smákrílin farin heim með foreldrum sínum (eða svona næstum því öll hehe) og það var aðeins bærilegra að labba um.

Hitinn var orðinn alveg ágætlega mikill en Helga var búin að smyrja sig inn í sólarvörn þannig að hún var amk seif. Helga var orðin pínu rauð samt þegar við komum heim og ég var búin að taka smá lit ;-)

Á leiðinni heim stoppuðum við á Burger King og nú er mér búið að takast að gera Helgu húkked á Burger King hehe. Enda eru það bara bestu borgararnir :-)

Í dag erum við líka búnar að vera frekar rólegar, komumst í gang uppúr hádegi, og vorum eitthvað að spá í að skreppa til Þýskalands en ákváðum svo að fara bara inn í Sönderborg. Um hádegið var hitinn kominn yfir 26 gráður og við Helga vorum alveg að farast úr hita og það lagaðist ekki eftir því sem leið á daginn. Við sáum hitamæli inni í Sönderborg sem sagði að það væri 35 stiga hiti!! Og við vorum með allar rúður niðri til að ná andanum, Helga var með nefið út um gluggann eins og hundarnir hehe. Eftir smá búðarrölt í Sönderborg (reyndum samt að takmarka það vegna hitans) komum við svo við á kínastaðnum og pöntuðum take-away og sitjum núna og horfum á dvd og étum kínamat :-) Rosalega huggulegt :-)))

Jæja nú erum við orðnar svo flottar á því að við erum komnar með vefbúð!! Við verðum semsagt að selja vörur frá beint Liverpool FC (sem er enskur fótboltaklúbbur fyrir þá sem ekki þekkja til)

Við fórum til Köben á laugardaginn að sækja lagerinn (komum heim í gær, sunnudag) og það var sko TROÐIÐ í bílinn til að við kæmum öllu með. Og þar að auki þá vorum við líka með kerru sem var alveg stútfull. Voffagreyin þurftu að vera á gólfinu frammí hjá Hönnu Sif til að komast með til baka og svo voru sætin afturí lögð niður og bara pakkað upp í loft!! Þegar skottinu var lokað þurftum við að vera þrjú til að ná að halda við og skella hurðinni þannig að allt hryndi ekki út heheh

Svo þegar heim var komið, tók örugglega hátt í klukkutíma að tæma bílinn því að það þurfti náttúrulega að leggja þetta allt slétt út þannig að þetta væri ekki allt í krumpi. Og núna er stofan bara FULL af dóti. Endalaust magn af stuttermabolum, stuttbuxum, jökkum, böngsum, músamottum, bollum, derhúfum, lyklakippum, barnafötum, sokkum, pelum, treflum, bílaskrauti og ég veit ekki hvað!! (set inn myndir á eftir þegar ég kem heim). Sem betur fer á ég konu sem er með skipulagningaræði þannig að ég er í góðum málum Það er sko enginn sem er betri en hún í að raða og skipuleggja svona hluti!!!

Síðan er annars niðri í augnablikinu á meðan að við erum að koma öllu í gang en ef þið kíkið á www.liverpoolstore.dk þá getiði allavegana séð að fyrirtækið okkar heitir Hafdal I/S Og við erum bara geðveikt spenntar og vonandi á þetta eftir að ganga vel!!!!!

Og svona að lokum vil ég segja: Elsku ástin mín, þú ert yndisleg! Takk fyrir að styðja mig alltaf og vera svona góð við mig Ég elska þig